Morena Cafe and Bar, Wiener Strasse 60

I'm trying this new bit with honesty. I've spent a long time thinking that it was just better if you kept it in because then you have all the control and it's better that way. I still kind of think that. But, at the same time, it's usually better when you tell people what you really think (with a nod towards compassion as well) because then you show them that you trust them to be able to handle it and you trust the friendship to be able to withstand it and you're able to be honest but not demanding. That paragraph is months worth of thinking on my part.
So far, success. I wrote my non-listening guy friend an email that basically said that I value his friendship a lot but sometimes it seems like he wasn't interested or was too distracted to work for our friendship too. I spent a few days in a stomach clench until he wrote back with more sincerity and thoughtfulness than I thought he was capable of. Trusting people with the truth lets them surprise me. It forces me to give them credit. It forces me to be accountable for my feelings and not write people off. It's a lot better this way.

I'm back at my free-wireless cafe. I love it here.

I wonder what it takes to be a good writer. That sounds like a dumb question, but sometimes I don't even start writing stuff because I'm afraid of how it will turn out. How can I learn if I don't practice? I've b een re-reading McCarthy's Blood Meridian and the violence, the austerity and gradeur are a revolving door. He captures. There are gaps for you to fill in. There are unique realities. Read it.

The wind is violently shaking a bicycle suspended by chains between two trees outside. Berlin's getting hecka cold. It's about time I left.